Bully me not

December 7, 2011 | KG

This is the first time that I’m going to share a video.

I am an emotional person. I easily cry with McDo commercials or movie trailers. So just imagine my tears as I watched this.

*****

Bullying is something I never want Wendy to experience. I regularly check up on her and ask her if anyone is bullying her. Thank God, she insists that no one is.

I have never been bullied, or if I were, it must have been subtle that I wouldn’t have noticed [I think each of us has been bullied in some way]. But this does not mean that I cannot feel for those who are being bullied. It IS a big problem in any society that leaves very deep wounds, some lasting years, in those who experience it.

Bullying for me entails a manifestation of something deeper, usually the old problem of discrimination…discrimination against homosexuals/bisexuals, against those who are handicapped, against those who are “fat” or “short” or “ugly” or “stupid,” and against those who seem to be too weak to fight back.

I feel so strongly against bullying because more than the physical abuse, it is the emotional torture that comes with bullying that leaves the most destructive wounds. And this can cause more pain than any other wound. And what’s more disheartening is that bullying happens usually to children…those who are weak and “untested” in these kinds of scenarios, that some have resorted, unfortunately, to ending their lives, seemingly wanting to just end the emotional torture. And for many of those who were brave enough to hold on, they bring with them the bad memories of bullying until they grow old. And this leaves a deep, negative mark in their lives.

As for Jonah Mowry, I salute you. Being bullied for 7 years can be and is certainly devastating. Your strength and will to live are certainly something to be proud of. May you continue to be strong.

I wish I can give all bullied kids a hug, if only to let them know that there are more people who love them than those weaklings who are bullying them, that there is more beauty to life than the hurtful words and/or punches they are receiving, and that, as Jonah said, they are stronger than that.

Let’s all hope, and pray, for the day bullying would stop. I’m crossing my fingers.

Chef Wendy

April 9, 2011 | KG

I must admit that growing up with yayas, I was never the one interested in cooking (I was more into washing the dishes). I was used to just having to go to the dining table with food already cooked. If ever I cooked my own food, it would consist of frying…hotdogs, hams, and other easily fried foods.

But when I reached college and had to live on my own, and not wanting to survive merely on McDonald’s, Jollibee, or Wendy’s, I knew I had to learn to cook for myself. And so I did. Although I did not master cooking, I learned more than frying.

Wendy, on the other hand, is learning and loving to cook at such a young age. She has been helping in the kitchen since was able and has been chopping since I allowed her to hold a knife (at around 7 years old). Inspired by the TV series Junior Masterchef, for the past few Saturdays, she has been cooking for us. Her menu so far has included brownies, banana muffin, chicken schnitzel, chicken parmigiana, pork terriyaki, and chocolate cake.

I must admit, all were delicious [and that’s not just her Mama talking!].

I am amazed at her, really. The other day, I heard someone rummaging in the kitchen and was surprised when Wendy told me she cooked hotdog and spam fried rice on her own! As in she did everything from start (chopping and preparing the ingredients) to finish (cooking and serving), with no help whatsoever! At 9 years of age!

I hope she continues her dream to be come a chef. After all, food is her number one love. 🙂

Summer cooking classes at the Maya Kitchen. The actual cooking was preceded by a lecture.

Cute kids with a passion for cooking…all wanting to learn. This class included 6- to 9-year-old children.

Wendy celebrated her 10th birthday in the cooking school last April 6, doing one of the things she loves the most.

Here’s to Chef Wendy..and to more years of cooking delicious food!

Excuse me, but who’s the mother here?

March 6, 2011 | KG

Losing my mother last November was a devastating part of my life. I’ve been so used to having a mother all my life that I found it hard to adjust to being motherless for the first time.

But having MY 9-year-old daughter can also be like having a mother.

I am not a person who loves to go out often, mostly just to have dinner with friends or go to the mall. But my Wendy is more a homebody than I am. She doesn’t like going out at all, except maybe to eat out. During parties and dinners, Wendy would always prefer staying at home, leaving me to explain to my friends why she didn’t come with me.

This is perfectly fine with me, as I do not really want to force her to go when she doesn’t want to. However, this may bring about a scenario that leaves me feeling like having a mother:

She asks where I’m going.
She asks who I’m with.
She asks what time I’ll be home. [I think I’m one of the few parents given a curfew by their children, even if the curfew is 2 in the afternoon!]
She has to know how long I’ll be gone. [I always tell her “saglit lang ako.” The problem is, “saglit” for her means around 1 hour only, including travel time. So imagine if I’m going somewhere in Quezon City, from Paranaque. Baka Makati pa lang, I have to make a U-turn and go back already.]
And she calls me ALL the time, asking, “Asan ka na? Bakit ang tagal mo umuwi?”

Sometimes, I have to ask her, “Teka girl, sino ba ang nanay sa ating dalawa?”

Wendy has been like this before, checking up on me when I’m out. But at times, although it’s not in the nature of my mother to check up on me, I am left to ask, “Nay, sinapian mo ba si Wendy? Umiba ang level nya! Nanay na nanay ang dating!”

I know I’ll be missing these times when Wendy grows up and I finally get to be the mother [me asking the questions and she declining to answer them]. So until then, I’ll take the role and be the kid for the meantime.

Of beginnings and endings

February 24, 2011 | KG

This is my niece Yshy, who turned 1 year old last February 21. Watching the developments of a child, in this case of Yshy, has always been a wonder to me! She can now walk on her own! How fast time flies. I can still remember the day she was born.

Her dad’s wish? “Sana tumuloy tuloy na ang tubo ng buhok mo Yshy!”

Here’s a picture of my mother and father when they were not yet married (circa 1976). My father looks like an action star noh, with his buttoned-down shirt and matching mustache, and my mother is so payat! He he!

February 26 will mark the “should-be” 34th wedding anniversary of my parents. Of course, my mother is no longer with us, and I’m glad we’ll be somewhere else on that day…keeping my father busy so that he won’t feel the loneliness (well, just the thought of his first anniversary without my mother makes us sad already).

“Life is not so much about beginnings and endings as it is about going on and on and on. It is about muddling through the middle.”
Anna Quindlen

Thoughts of a not-so-wimpy kid

February 8, 2011 | KG

Wimp:

A weak, cowardly, or ineffectual person (Merriam Webster)

Wendy has been into the whole Diary of a Wimpy Kid thing and asked for the entire set last Christmas. I don’t know how she came to know about it…she doesn’t even know what wimpy means!

Anyway, recently, she asked me to buy this for her, to complete her set daw:

I asked Wendy, “Ano ba yang do-it-yourself book na yan? What does it exactly mean?” She said, “basahin mo na lang itong first page.”

Aba, may disclaimer agad! This is NOT a diary.

Continue reading →

The wheel of life

January 13, 2011 | KG

“Ang buhay ay parang gulong, minsan nasa itaas, minsan nasa ibaba.”

Sounds familiar right? We adults are used to this saying, trying to justify the ups and downs that we experience in life.

But how do you explain that to a 9-year-old?

Wendy cried out her heart yesterday, when we got her card and found out that she was only Top 3. This year has particularly been “different” for her:

For the first grading, she was Top 2 in her class and Top4 overall. Her teacher told us that because Wendy was absent for the first week of classes, as we were in the US at that time, she had missed some quizzes. And since the competition was tight, this might have affected her standing. Wendy was disappointed and blamed me for scheduling the trip the first week of her classes.
For the second grading, she was Top 2 in her class but Top 1 overall (don’t ask me how that happened, I do not know either; all they told me is that she had the highest average among all the third graders). Since she was top overall, she was happy and content.
For the third grading, we got her card yesterday. Her teacher told me that she again had the highest average among all her classmates overall but that she was just Top 3 because she lacked the extracurricular activities needed. The teacher added, if she had just been a class officer (as she had the previous 2 years), she would have most probably been the Top 1.

As we were going home, I saw tears flowing from Wendy’s eyes. And when we got to the house, that’s when the bawling came.

I don’t know what pissed her the most. She just kept on repeating, “kung di kasi tayo nagpunta US, officer ako, at malamang top 1 ako!” But I knew it was something else, more than her not being an officer. And I was right, she was pissed that she wasn’t number 1.

I know my daughter, and I know her to be very sport when it comes to competitions; in games and contests, when she doesn’t win, she just shrugs it off. So I am quite surprised that she reacted so violently this time (the crying went on for so long!).

Then, it hit me, she is so used to being the Top 1 that when she slid in ranking, she has a hard time accepting it.

I tried comforting her with some words of wisdom [ahem]:

“You have to learn that you cannot always be on top. Sometimes, you’re down, sometimes you’re up.” (cliche, but true)
“When you’re up, there’s no where to go but down. The question is when.”
“Don’t worry, Mama and Papa are still proud of you, and we’re very happy (which we really are)!” (Gosh, I even went as far as degrading myself in front of her, “Wendy, ako nga ni hindi nagto-top noon!”)
“It doesn’t matter what top you are, what matters is you did your best.”
“Wendy, with may fourth grading pa! Bawi ka na lang! When you experience defeat, get up and try your best again.”

But how do you really explain these to a kid? How do you tell them that you cannot have it all, or that you cannot stay on top forever? How can you tell them to just pick up the pieces and make better the next time? To the mind of a 9-year-old, these may all just be rubbish.

So I just hugged her and kissed her, telling her that it will be all right. It was like a mother comforting a daughter who had experienced her first heartbreak.

The kissing and hugging did it, for she she calmed down after while and then just resolved to try her best this fourth grading.

For us parents, having honor kids is always something to be proud of. But I believe more in building the character of person, more than the intellectual capacity. So more than the honors in school, I want Wendy to learn life’s lessons (like this one, the lesson of “defeat”) and apply these lessons. After all, these are what she will be taking with her when she goes out and meets life, not her medals.

Nevertheless, as regards her academics, this battle may be over, but the war is not (may fourth grading pa! he he!)!

*****

PS: To be perfectly honest, I have been expecting [and waiting] for this to happen. I knew it would only be a matter of time that someone will beat Wendy, not because I don’t believe in her but simply because I believe that one cannot stay on top forever. And I am actually relieved that this happened because I really, really want Wendy to learn this aspect of life; that is, you cannot stay on top forever. What matters is you tried your best. And I hope she does learn the lesson.

Wendy's first confession

November 23, 2010 | KG

Yesterday was Wendy’s first confession. It was very unfortunate that she left her “kodigo” lying around the house and I got to read it!

KG: Wendy, you “lied to your dad”?

Wendy: [With an impish grin] Diba noon sabi ko sa kanya I was taking care of Jack and Jill*, pero hindi naman?

KG: OOhhh, oo nga pala. And what’s this? You “went to the park without asking for permission”??? [I was hyperventilating at this point.]

Wendy: Ano ba Mama! Remember nun? Pinagalitan mo pa nga ako after?

KG: Yeah… Oh my, you “kicked a friend”?

Wendy: Si Juday diba? [Oh yes, I remember. She kicked her best friend in the back, and Juday got fever after.]

And this is why, my dear friends, you should never, never read your child’s confession list. It will drive you crazy!

*Her pet rabbits 5 years ago. They’re now both resting in peace.

What a colorful world!

September 11, 2010 | KG

If you are in Las Vegas [or New York], and you love M&M’s [or just even chocolate] or you love color, do not miss the large and lively M&M’s World!

Found along The Strip, M&M’s World is certainly very colorful!

Wendy gives the thumb up sign as the red M&M welcomes us. “Ganda dito!”

There were M&M stuff everywhere…anything you can think of (even boxer shorts)!

M&M’s peeping from a bag! Grabe ang kulay, matingkad talaga! Red kung sa red, blue kung sa blue, green…oh well, you get my point!

Wendy’s favorite M&M stuff: dispensers. She bought one for herself [in New York]! Ako din, I was tempted to buy one, kaya lang that would mean I had to have constant supply of M&M’s: not good for the body, and certainly not good for the pocket! He he!

And who wouldn’t go ga-ga over these stacks of M&Ms? Kakaloka! You just get a plastic and fill it depending on how much you can spend. Then, it will be weighed.

A pound costs $12.99; super mas mahal compared with those in groceries. Kaya naman si Wendy lang ang bumili…kuripot kaming matatanda! He he!

There were unusual colors like silver, black, purple, white, and many more others!

And there were variety also with the chocolate itself: plain, mini, with nuts, with almonds, with crunch, etc!

Wendy is confused as to what she will buy! Ang dami kasing choices. 🙂

It was so fun going around the M&M’s World…so refreshing to the eyes!

The end of an era

September 7, 2010 | KG

A tita texted me asking if Wendy could be one of the flower girls in a wedding she was organizing. I told her no problem with me, but I’d have to ask Wendy first.

Wendy’s reply?

“Ayoko na Mama. I’m already TOOOOO old to be a flower girl!!!” [emphasis on the too]

Sniff sniff!

So soon? Girl, you’re only nine! If I had my way, I’d still be a flower girl!

I turn nostalgic when I see these pictures. After all, aren’t we moms proud when our little girls walk the aisle wearing those cute dresses and carrying bouquets of flowers?

Probably Wendy’s last appearance as a flower girl: at my sister’s wedding last June 20, 2009

In reality, Wendy isn’t really into those flower girl stuff (she considers herself more boyish than girlish). She is actually living out my dream, after all I’ve been a flower girl only twice in my entire life! Yung isa pa doon sa yaya ko, and I fell out of a chair pa! Not one of my fondest memories. So I take my joy in watching Wendy being a flower girl. She’s been a flower girl more than a dozen times, half of which I forced her. He he! But she sometimes admits she enjoys being a flower girl too, especially if she knows her co-flower girls.

But now, an era has ended. Such a sad day indeed.