Mga kasabihan…at ang totoong buhay

Dahil Linggo ng Wika, nasa wikang Pilipino ang kwento ko ngayon.

Nung isang araw, tinatanong kami ng aking pamangkin ng mga halimbawa ng kasabihan ng mga Pilipino; takdang aralin daw niya. Siempre, pabibo kami ng mga kapatid ko diba? Aba, stock knowledge ata ito! Ha ha!

Sa aming pagbibigay ng mga alam naming kasabihan, di ko napigilang maalala ang mga pagkakataon na “na-apply” ko ang mga ito sa totoong buhay. Hayaan nyo akong ikwento ang iba.

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Pag mga bandang -ber months, pag umaalis ako ng bahay papasok sa trabaho, madilim pa. Kaya siempre, kailangang buksan ang headlights. Isang araw, nang papasok ako, meron akong muntik na mabangga na kotse na nago-overtake. Bakit kamo? Hindi ko sya napansin dahil hindi nakabukas ang headlights nya. Aba! Madilim kaya! Di ba nya alam na dapat nakabukas ang headlights nya? Buti sana kung sya lang ang mapapahamak, eh mandadamay pa sya! Dapat sa kanya mag crash course ng pagmamaneho ng alam nya ang ganung kasimpleng bagay! Haay! Ayun, nagdrive ako ng inis na inis. Pagkatapos ng ilang munuto, napansin ko na parang madilim sa harap ko. OMG… nakapatay din pala ang headlights ko. Poink!

Bago mo pansinin ang uling ng iba, ang sariling uling ay pahirin muna.

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Exams ng mga bata ngayong linggo. Nung isang iraw, nagkulong ang aking kuya at ang kanyang bunso para magreview. Pagkatapos ng isang oras, lumabas na umiiyak ang aking pamangkin. Sumunod ang kuya ko na galit, “Isang oras na tayo wala ka pang narereview? Dalawa pa lang ang namememorize mo? Hindi pwede yan!” Tinawan ko sya, “Hello, kuya! Alam mo na ngayon kung ano nararamdaman nila Nanay noon ano?” Ha! Ha!

Kung ano ang puno ay syang bunga.*

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Nung minsan akong naglinis ng aking cabinet ng mga bag, nilisan ko na din sila. Tinapon ko ang mga basura na asa loob ng mga bag at inisa-isa ko ang mga bulsa para matanggal ang mga dumi. Laking tuwa ko ng makakuha ako ng pera sa ilang bulsa! Wow! Di man kalakihan, nakakatuwa pa din kasi hindi mo inaasahan! Ayun, pinang-merienda namin!

Pag may sinuksok, may madudukot.

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Tinanong ako noon ni Wendy kung kailangan ba daw ng college degree para magpatayo ako ng cupcakery. Ako naman, ayaw magsinungaling, “Hmmmm…not really.” Aba, sabi ba naman, “So I don’t have to go to college”? Wais tong bata na to ha. May point. Tinanong muna ako bago ako babagsakan ng ganung bomba. Pero siempre, sabi ko kailangan nya pa rin. “But if all I want is to put up a cupcakery, then I don’t have to go to college! You said so yourself!!!” Aba, aba! Ako ang nanay mo, at pag sinabi kong magco-college ka, magco-college ka. P.E.R.I.O.D. Natahimik na sya. Ha ha!

Matalino man ang matsing, naiisahan din.

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O ayan, diba naman talagang akmang akma sa mga nangyari sa akin?

PS. Ginawa ko ang lahat ng aking makakaya para Tagalog ang buong kwento, pero di ko kinaya. May iba pa ring English words na di ko alam ang translation. Paumanhin po. Ha ha!

*Sa totoo lang po, di ako naniniwala dito. Halimbawa na lang po, kahit na ang aking kuya ay, hmmm, “tamad” na estudyante noon, na mukhang namana ng kanyang pangalawang anak, top 1 naman ang kanyang panganay; masipag at matyaga mag-aral eh. Ha ha! Peace Kuya!

If you don’t know everything, then shut up!

I have a funny story.

My father, who is the president of the lay ministers in our parish, sometimes asks me to type memos, invitations, notices, and others for him. Ang tatay ko kasi is one of those who do not know how to use a computer. He doesn’t even know how to open one! So ayun, ginawa nya akong secretary.

Anyway, one time, he was asking me to type  an invitation for their yearly outing. I was typing away when I saw this sentence: “Let’s all fellowship, enjoy, drink, and be merry together as one brotherhood.” Eh copyeditor ako. Nanlisik ang mata ko sa fellowship. Parang mali. I changed it. “Let’s all join in fellowship, enjoy, drink, and be merry together as one brotherhood.” I printed the invitation and gave it to my father for approval. Binalik sa akin. Aba, binalik sa dati yung sentence! I asked why. Sabi nya ginagamit daw talaga nila yun. With an air of authority (kasi nga copyeditor ako diba?), sabi ko, “Tay, fellowship is a noun. Di mo pwedeng sabihin na ‘let’s fellowship.’ Kailangan may verb!”

I then went to the computer to show him proof. I opened Merriam Webster. Ito ang bumulagta sa akin:

1) fellowship (noun)

2) fellowship (transitive verb)

Ay shucks, may verb nga!

Baka naman iba ang meaning (mapride ako eh, ayoko sumuko agad). I clicked the link.

To join in fellowship especially with a church member.

Ayun, pahiya ako sa tatay ko. I was so embarassed!. Buti na lang tatay ko sya. He was very forgiving.

Moral of the story, you don’t know everything. Kaya minsan, tumahimik ka na lang.

Remember the kilig moments?

This morning, while Wendy was taking a bath for school:

Wendy: Alam mo Mama, kahapon, excited ako pumasok sa school kasi gusto ko makita kuya ni Francine*. [FYI: the kuya is her crush]

KG: Talaga?

Wendy: Opo. Ganun ka din ba?

KG: Oh yes! Ok yan para excited ka pumasok.

[Insert nostalgic music here.]

Haha!

This brought me back to my grade school and high school days, when, at many instances, I was excited to go to school because of my crushes [oo, minsan more than one ang crush ko]. I must admit that crushes were a big, big part of my school life.

In my first year of high school, I didn’t want the school year to end and I didn’t want to go to vacation because I wouldn’t be seeing my crush, which, at that time, eh feeling ko patay na patay ako!

The first crush I remember was when I was in Grade 1. His name was Raymond. He was so cute! Through my younger school life, my crushes were always based on looks. Minsan, ang mga crush ko, hindi ko kilala personally. These ones were mostly from the older batches! When I got older, looks plus character na ang criteria ko. So this means that some of my friends became my crushes.

I remember my friend and I making tambay in our canteen, which is elevated, to search our crushes sa covered court below. Makita lang namin sila, ang saya saya na namin. Oh, and we even had “nicknames” for our crushes so that when we talked about them, only we would know who they were, like toothpick (payat kasi), kilay (makapal kasi ang kilay), drumstick (drummer kasi)…oh, you get the point.

And more than puberty, it was because of my crushes that I learned to use a mirror, dress myself up, make porma, and act properly [whatever that meant for me at that time]. Siempre, we need to impress our crushes diba? Kailangan mapansin nila tayo! Remember the kilig moments? Haay…ang dami diba? Kausapin ka lang, or magkadikit lang kayo, or tingnan ka lang, kilig na kilig na! There are also times na medyo assuming ako. Tingnan lang ako ng crush ko, feeling ko crush na din nya ako. He he!

If there were the kilig moments, there were also the heartbreaking moments. I remember that devastating time when I saw my crush suddenly holding hands with someone else [and I thought crush nya ako!], or when I suddenly learned that my crush has a crush on someone…at hindi ako yun! What would one do but go home and cry your heart out, telling your mom that you won’t have a crush ever again! But the next week, may iba ka nang crush! Ganun lang naman yun diba?

Of course, as I grew older, the crushes turned to puppy love, then to first love, then to true love, and kung anu-anu pang love meron. But sometimes, it’s nice to have crushes, just to have those fleeting kilig moments.

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*Name changed to protect me. Secret namin yan ni Wendy eh! Baka sabihin nya pinagkakalat ko secrets namin! Haha!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year…again

Can you believe it’s December once again? My favorite time of the year is once again nearing! I can’t wait!

In keeping with her dream of owning a cupcakery, Wendy baked some cupcakes that were Christmas inspired, with edible glitters and all! She brought some for her friends at school, and now she’s going to give these as gifts to her teachers and classmates, who loved her cupcakes and were specifically asking for these as Christmas gifts. Looks like Wendy’s on the right track!

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I’ve started my gift shopping early in the year, so I’m almost done. I find this easier on the budget and time…yung unti-unti bumibili ng gifts throughout the year. I’m also almost done wrapping! Hooray! And again, I went against my word to give gifts only to kids para makatipid. As usual, I bought gifts for everyone! Ha ha! Next year na lang ako magstart! Promise!!!

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Today, PM sent me an e-mail informing me of who my partner for the blogger exchange gift is. Guess who’s mine? Marian! Super excited ako that after receiving the mail, I went straight to the mall to start on her list! Puro pink ang gusto nya…so fun to buy! [Now, you know what to give to her. ;)]

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Wendy and I recently bought her Christmas outfit and she insisted on buying boots. Yes, she plans to wear boots in this hot Manila weather. Good luck to her! Haha!

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Hoping for a wonderful holiday season for all of us!

The great manipulator

Wendy and I had this conversation last night:

Wendy: Mama, I want to put up a cupcakery.

KG: GO!

Wendy: Do you need a college degree to put up a business?

KG: [telling the truth of course] Not really.

Wendy: So I don’t have to go to college? [evil grin]

KG: Yes you do!

Wendy: But if all I want is to put up a cupcakery, then I don’t have to go to college! You said so yourself!!!

KG: Yes you do. End of discussion!!!

Wendy: AAAArrgghhhh!!!!

Haayyy…I sometimes wish she would just ask me how to make eyelashes longer! That would be easier to answer!

Facebook patrol

For the many among you who don’t know yet, I already have a Facebook account.

Yes, my insistent daughter has won, and I allowed her to create one for me. Little did I know that her job wouldn’t end in creating an account for me. I did not know that she would take on the job of patrolling my account!

If kids are scared of their parents stalking them on Facebook, then meet Wendy, who stalks me, her mom, on Facebook!

Di ko lang alam kung wala syang confidence sa technology abilities ko, pero she really wants me to consult her first! May ganun?

 

Ayan, galit na sya! We actually fought over this…bakit daw di ko sinabi muna sa kanya na I might not spend my birthday here. Gusto nya, what I write on Facebook, sabihin ko muna sa kanya! Yes, mommy!

 

One time, Ellen (The Pseudoshrink) “poked” me. Wendy “ordered” me to poke back! Aba malay ko ba kung pano yun? She kept on pestering me that in the end, I think she did that for me.

And once, she poked me, telling me to poke her back. I told her, “Wendy naman, we live in the same house. If I want to poke you, I will just tickle your tummy!” 

I’m feeling that this Facebook thing is going to be more than I can handle. 🙂

Excuse me, but who’s the mother here?

Losing my mother last November was a devastating part of my life. I’ve been so used to having a mother all my life that I found it hard to adjust to being motherless for the first time.

But having MY 9-year-old daughter can also be like having a mother.

I am not a person who loves to go out often, mostly just to have dinner with friends or go to the mall. But my Wendy is more a homebody than I am. She doesn’t like going out at all, except maybe to eat out. During parties and dinners, Wendy would always prefer staying at home, leaving me to explain to my friends why she didn’t come with me.

This is perfectly fine with me, as I do not really want to force her to go when she doesn’t want to. However, this may bring about a scenario that leaves me feeling like having a mother:

• She asks where I’m going.
• She asks who I’m with.
• She asks what time I’ll be home. [I think I’m one of the few parents given a curfew by their children, even if the curfew is 2 in the afternoon!]
  
• She has to know how long I’ll be gone. [I always tell her “saglit lang ako.” The problem is, “saglit” for her means around 1 hour only, including travel time. So imagine if I’m going somewhere in Quezon City, from Paranaque. Baka Makati pa lang, I have to make a U-turn and go back already.]
  
• And she calls me ALL the time, asking, “Asan ka na? Bakit ang tagal mo umuwi?”

Sometimes, I have to ask her, “Teka girl, sino ba ang nanay sa ating dalawa?”

Wendy has been like this before, checking up on me when I’m out. But at times, although it’s not in the nature of my mother to check up on me, I am left to ask, “Nay, sinapian mo ba si Wendy? Umiba ang level nya! Nanay na nanay ang dating!”

I know I’ll be missing these times when Wendy grows up and I finally get to be the mother [me asking the questions and she declining to answer them]. So until then, I’ll take the role and be the kid for the meantime.

The cycle of questions

When you reach your 20s, the questioning begins:

• When you’re single, or have been single for like forever, people bug you: Kelan ka magkaka-boyfriend/girlfriend?
• Then, when you have finally found a significant other, the question changes: Oh, kelan kayo magpapakasal [even if you’ve just been together for 4 days]?
• When you walk the aisle and say “I do,” not a month will pass and people will now ask you: Kelan kayo magkaka-baby?
• Just as you are gushing over your first-born, the question now becomes: Oh, kelan nyo susundan si panganay?

It goes on, and on, and on…

• Oh, kelan papakasal anak mo?
• Oh, kelan ka magiging lola/lolo?
• Oh, kelan masusundan una mong apo?
• And, God forbid, I hope someone does not ask: Oh, kelan ka ba pupunta sa langit?

Perhaps, people do not really realize that these questions are inappropriate, not to mention insensitive. As if you can say exactly when you’ll find your one true love: “Sa Saturday, baka magka boyfriend na ako…may pupuntahan akong party, maraming gwapo dun malamang!” Or, perhaps, you can say to those pestering you and your husband of 5 years, “In nine months may panganay na kami. Mamayang gabi kasi… [well, you can just fill in the blanks].”

What’s more, these questions are a smack in the face because they seem to be implying that something is wrong with your life…even when you yourself feel that there is none!

If only there were a law stating we can punch people who ask these questions, then these “well-meaning” people might actually stop asking. Of course, there’s the perennial answer “It will come if it will come.” This, I say, is the perfect answer simply because it is the truth.

Pam Pastor’s funny and marks-the-spot article (shared to me by Mordsith) on this topic is a must-read:  The Next Person Who Asks Me When I’m Getting Married Will Get Punched, and I strongly urge you to read it.

As for me, family, friends, and loved ones know too well to ask me one of these questions. And for you, I hope you’re not stuck somewhere in this cycle of questions!

Wendy's first confession

Yesterday was Wendy’s first confession. It was very unfortunate that she left her “kodigo” lying around the house and I got to read it!

KG: Wendy, you “lied to your dad”?

Wendy: [With an impish grin] Diba noon sabi ko sa kanya I was taking care of Jack and Jill*, pero hindi naman?

KG: OOhhh, oo nga pala. And what’s this? You “went to the park without asking for permission”??? [I was hyperventilating at this point.]

Wendy: Ano ba Mama! Remember nun? Pinagalitan mo pa nga ako after?

KG: Yeah… Oh my, you “kicked a friend”?

Wendy: Si Juday diba? [Oh yes, I remember. She kicked her best friend in the back, and Juday got fever after.]

And this is why, my dear friends, you should never, never read your child’s confession list. It will drive you crazy!

*Her pet rabbits 5 years ago. They’re now both resting in peace.

Welcome to the world of showbiz!

Do you think I would pass for a celebrity girlfriend?

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Before you react and think that Richard Gutierrez is out of his mind, this picture was actually cropped from the photo below:

Outside Staples Center, May 27, 2010 (after the Lakers-Phoenix game 5)

With all honesty, I really don’t have the hoots for any of our celebrities here. When somebody points out to me, “uy, si ano oh,” referring to a celebrity, I usually look, then reply with just a shrug. Walang excitement kung baga.

So I don’t know why, when my friend told me that he saw Richard Gutierrez in the souvenir shop of Staples Center when we watched game 5 of the Lakers-Phoenix series, I went gaga and told my friends I had to have my picture taken with him [at all costs!]! And this was with shrieks ha! I patiently waited for him at the exit of the souvenir shop!

I honestly don’t know why I got so excited. I am not a fan of his. I don’t even watch any of his shows! I know him only because he’s a popular star here in the Philippines.

The only logical reason I could think of was that it was so exciting to see a kababayan star in a foreign land. It’s like, wow! Of  all places, sa ibang bansa mo pa sya makikita! I mean, makakita lang ako ng kababayan in other countries, I get excited. What more kung artista pa diba? I remember when we were in Rome, and there was news that Ai Ai de las Alas was there too. Baduy man, but I was always on the lookout for her! He! he!

So jologs na kung jologs, I approached Richard and asked him if I could have a picture taken with him.

Richard was very nice and accommodating. He of course agreed and was all smiles for our photo op. As you can see, me and my two friends were ALL smiles! Parang kinikilig pa! Richard chatted with us for a very short while after [“Ganda ng game ano?”] and smiled and waved at us when he saw us leaving the stadium.

We may not have seen some famous stars in Hollywood, but the NBA night made up for it! At least, I had a small brush with the world of showbiz!